The Incredible Swank
When I was 8 or 9 I had a cousin-type person* who was around 4 or 5 years old whose mother could not buy him button-down shirts. This was because he would play Incredible Hulk and rip them open. The boy LIVED in t-shirts.
You know, I'm not a big fan of button-down shirts myself. And I've finally figured out why. It's not a fashion thing, it's that the Incredible Hulk lurks inside of me, waiting to rip out at any moment.
Friend-wise people don't really get a chance to summon forth the Hulk. I know I've got a line, and when people start approaching it I generally remove myself from the situation to let things simmer down before we go there.
Work-wise stepping away from the situation isn't always an option. People who work with me a while learn not to cross me. And if you're going to cross me you'd best get on my good side before you cross me again. Continually crossing me without allowing me that chance to simmer down you are in TROUBLE. If you're stupid on top of the mix just look out for the wrath that is Swank on the warpath.
Thankfully for the co-workers it is rarely, if ever, directed at them. Usually it is because I am fighting FOR the co-workers against the powers of evil that are stupid people in the world that the Hulk comes out. The co-workers know when the Hulk is imminent. They just step out of the way and watch. They've given me a fireman's hat to help signify when I'm on the warpath. The co-workers now don't need it so much, but for new co-workers it is the signal: See how Swank looks while she's wearing that fireman's hat? Yeah, stay away from her. Actually, i have two fireman's hats. One from each boss. I think the second boss was afraid I'd split the first hat as my head expanded during the transformation, so he wanted me to have a spare.
Today the Hulk was summoned. The worst part is I can already tell he'll be summoned tomorrow and the next day, too. Man, it's going to be a fun week.
Although, eternal optimist that I am, there is a good side to it. And I think the Hulk may be the alien that resides within. Because I've got an appointment with the trainer tonight, and you'd bettter believe that we'll be lifting some weights. I'll be lifting those idiots who summoned forth the Hulk today and then smashing her head in like a little bug.
Hey, at least I use my rage for good instead of evil.
*He was my mother's cousin's grandchild - you do the math because, quite frankly, I can't.
You know, I'm not a big fan of button-down shirts myself. And I've finally figured out why. It's not a fashion thing, it's that the Incredible Hulk lurks inside of me, waiting to rip out at any moment.
Friend-wise people don't really get a chance to summon forth the Hulk. I know I've got a line, and when people start approaching it I generally remove myself from the situation to let things simmer down before we go there.
Work-wise stepping away from the situation isn't always an option. People who work with me a while learn not to cross me. And if you're going to cross me you'd best get on my good side before you cross me again. Continually crossing me without allowing me that chance to simmer down you are in TROUBLE. If you're stupid on top of the mix just look out for the wrath that is Swank on the warpath.
Thankfully for the co-workers it is rarely, if ever, directed at them. Usually it is because I am fighting FOR the co-workers against the powers of evil that are stupid people in the world that the Hulk comes out. The co-workers know when the Hulk is imminent. They just step out of the way and watch. They've given me a fireman's hat to help signify when I'm on the warpath. The co-workers now don't need it so much, but for new co-workers it is the signal: See how Swank looks while she's wearing that fireman's hat? Yeah, stay away from her. Actually, i have two fireman's hats. One from each boss. I think the second boss was afraid I'd split the first hat as my head expanded during the transformation, so he wanted me to have a spare.
Today the Hulk was summoned. The worst part is I can already tell he'll be summoned tomorrow and the next day, too. Man, it's going to be a fun week.
Although, eternal optimist that I am, there is a good side to it. And I think the Hulk may be the alien that resides within. Because I've got an appointment with the trainer tonight, and you'd bettter believe that we'll be lifting some weights. I'll be lifting those idiots who summoned forth the Hulk today and then smashing her head in like a little bug.
Hey, at least I use my rage for good instead of evil.
*He was my mother's cousin's grandchild - you do the math because, quite frankly, I can't.
posted by Swankette at 5:48 PM
2 Comments:
Second cousin, once removed.
Eep! The Powers of Evil Stupid People are strong today. Their shadow apparently spans multiple states.
Red Alert! Where's my plastic wrap and duct tape?
Post a Comment
<< Home