Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Stock Market Beware

My name is Swankette and I am a Diet Coke-aholic.

I think the problem began my senior year of high school. On my way to "study hall" I'd stop by the vending machines for a Diet Coke and Ho-Hos. Yeah, all those schools that are banning vending machines from on campus, that's a really good idea.

It continued through college and reached its apex around 1997. At the time I was on a three Super Big Gulp a day habit. Stop at the 7-Eleven on the way to work for #1, walk to the 7-Eleven up the street from work during the lunch hour for #2, then #3 on the way home. When the clerk who works the morning shift not only recognizes you, but inquires to your health if you miss a morning, that's when you not longer have control over the Diet Coke but it has control of you.

Over the years I have attempted "Diet Coke Detox" several times. Always cold turkey. And always when I have, at minimum, a three day weekend with no obligations involved. The withdrawal prompts headaches and grumpiness.

An acquaintance once joked that I needed to warn her when I was planning a detox routine, so that she could go invest in Coca-Cola stock. Her theory being that given the amount of Diet Coke I drank on a daily basis when I suddently cut-off consumption it would drive the stock price down. But eventually I would relapse, and then the price would soar back up again.

Well I'm not going cold turkey, but I think I may be slowly kicking the habit. The consumption has slowly decreased over time. I can't even FATHOM drinking a Super Big Gulp now except in severe code red situations. It's been strictly Big Gulps. And I've moved from liter bottles to 20 ounce bottles. Lately, it's taken me a while to even polish those off. And the last couple of times I've purchased fountain carbonated beverages I've gone for the 22 ounce size. I can't remember the last time I consistently purchased 22 ounce fountain sodas.

The aliens are at it some more. Scary.

2 Comments:

Blogger Joe said...

Breakfast for me in at least 1 year of high school, 5 days a week, was a Coke and a pack of Twinkies. Yeah, vending machines should be banned.

Caffeine withdrawal is a nasty thing. Invariably takes me about 3 days to get through it too. I saw it lay Herself out for a week once. (Best thing you can do is give in to the low energy and achiness and sleep through it.)

6:40 AM  
Blogger lemming said...

One semester I had a seminar that got out at 10 PM then had to teach at 8 AM the next morning. This I would have a diet coke and a snickers bar for breakfast, usually while the students filed in. Then came the day I walked in to find that they had arrived first, and had lined up two bottles of orange juice and a bagel on the desk.

8:55 AM  

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