Friday, March 18, 2005

Let Me Make My Intentions Perfectly Clear

When I was 20 my parents re-wrote their will due to circumstances we need not go into here. They made me the executor at that time, and while they were at it they gave me secondary health care power of attorney. That means if Dad gets put on life support Mom gets first choice on whether or not to pull the plug, but I'm next in line. In other words, if something happens to both of them it's all in my hands. I had to sign a notarized document to make it happen. Let me tell you, signing a document that gives you the power to pull the plug on your parents before you can legally go drink the alcohol necessary to numb your mind after an experience like that is a mind trip indeed.

The upside of all this drama was that it forced my parents and I to have discussions as to what our wishes really were when it came to terminal illness as well as the great beyond. That's a tough conversation to have with the people who raised you, but an important one to have. It's also not a one-way conversation, so they couldn't convey their wishes to me without me also conveying my wishes to them. Therefore, I believe we're all on the same page here.

However, my Dad and I both have the habit of doing things just to piss the other one off. That's what happen when you've cross a right-wing Dad with a left-wing Daddy's girl. So I wouldn't put it past him someday to make decisions in this regard just to piss me off. (And if you don't realize that's a joke then you've got some serious problems indeed).

Seriously, I don't think I'll ever run into a scenario where there's a dispute that arises, but just in case there is, I want to make my views known now, so Congress doesn't get the final vote:
  • What Sweetie says goes. He knows me better than anyone, so this is a dictatorship and he be the dictator.
  • If you are family, friend or loved one who disagrees: Do not take it to court. Say to yourself, "I know Swankette and her Sweetie. They are not going to be making these decisions lightly. It may not be the decision I made, but I support them in the decision they made." Then get on with your life. I've done it for all of you, so you can do it for me, too.
  • If strangers start to get involved and stage protests of any vareity I implore anyone who ever gave a shit about me to do mean and nasty things to the protestors. I won't tell you exactly what those mean and nasty things should be because I think you'll come up with better ideas in the emotion of the moment than I could come up with right now.
  • If Congress tries to get involved harass the hell out of them. And if you can come up with any other ways to impart to them how ludicrous it is for the legislative arm of the government to be making these decisions on my life by all means do so.

I'm not sure what aspect of the goings-on in Florida disturbs me the most, but I think everyone that isn't her husband that thinks they get a say in the matter should just grow up and get on with their lives.

2 Comments:

Blogger Greg said...

Bravo. I especially like the "do mean and nasty things to the protesters" bit. Frankly, it sickens me to see a tragedy so brazenly hijacked by the religious right for their own nefarious purposes.

Who better to know a person's wishes than their spouse? How can any family dare claim to know better what a person wants?

(Visibly restrains himself, steps off his soapbox, and marches off to his cave, resisting temptation to rant any more in someone else's space.)

2:01 PM  
Blogger kaphine said...

Realsupergirl and I did a little paperwork a few years ago to name each other as "medical proxy." Had copies added to each of our medical records and keep three sets on file (her files, my files, and our files). At that time, I named my mother as second, and am coming to reconsider that decision. But at least I know I've done the work to show my intent and preference. Hopefully this will make it easier for her if ever the need arises.

11:23 AM  

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