The Amazing Race 7: The Clip Show

Because they know that suckers like Sweetie and I will gobble up any Amazing Race that comes our way, the producers at CBS are now compelled to throw in mid-season clips shows to help recap what's happened thus far, and show you the scenes you DIDN'T get to see the first time around.

Usually these things are a stupid and boring waste of time, so I'm going to blog real-time as I watch the show. Perhaps together we can find some entertainment. (Although, as a TiVo owner, I do still reserve the right to fast forward through commercials.)

One thing that's cool when they lump all the shows together is you get to see the big map with the big-picture view of where the teams have been. This is the most southernly route the race has ever taken. At least so far.

And thus we arrive at the opening credits. I already know who the teams are so, Fast Forward...

The gay guys have really grown on me this episode. They may not be as flamboyant as Team Cha Cha Cha was, but they've got wit and they hate Ron and Amber. I could be their fag hag.

I fully encourage the Amber and Rob hatred, but it seems like it's waned throughout the season.

And now teams are begging for money in the airport. Not sure if they weren't given enough money for the leg, or just bad budgeting in early rounds. That would be the toughest part of the Amazing Race for me.

Zip lines look fun! Sweetie and I might go on a zip line adventure in Kauai, that's still under negotiation.

OK, I had my suspicions that Debbie and Bianca were secretly gay, and the closest I'm ever going to get to confirmation is a remark to a South African local woman referring to, "Another queen here." I don't know of any straight girls that refer to other girls as queens. I don't even know why this matters to me.

I wish the Southern boys had lasted longer, they really looked like they would have been fun.

Rob needs to open a used car lot. He is the epitome of the used car salesman. He likes to schmooze with people and grease palms. I could totally see him trying to sell me a tricked out Chevy Camaro. But Chevy isn't sponsoring this show and we're at another commercial. Fast Forward...

So apparently there have been MULTIPLE head wounds on this season of the Amazing Race. Maybe 7 isn't such a lucky number.

Oh, I am so very glad the pretty blonde girls and the brothers are no longer on the race together, because to watch a guy hitting on a girl that hard is just annoying. And so now on the clip show I'm getting to watch the four of them share a hotel room. And the one girl smirking when she says the guys were perfect gentlemen. I so didn't even need my brain to go there.

So now let's shop. Or shlep. And I'm starting to see the cracks in my teams armor. Miss South Carolina really is a diva, and needs to learn to go with the flow.

Oh, the justice, that the boys that hooked up with the girls were in a foot race against each other to the finish. Hope you had a good time last night, since you won't have a hottie to share your sleeping bag in the next leg.

How has Rob not run out of money, he's actively seeking opportunities to grease palms. That is what makes no sense to me.

And it astound me that Debbie and Bianca missed the part in the clue that they're supposed to be driving through the ANDES and travel hours out of their way along the BEACH.

And there's a Walmart in the center of freaking Argentina. There's something just wrong about that.

And now we get to the most disgusting challenge ever. Having to eat four pounds of cow. FOUR POUNDS. I cannot even comprehend four pounds of meat. And thus, the penalties. And the commercials. Fast Forward...

And now is as good a time as any to mention my annoyance at this season. When teams I like win the leg there is no prize, but when the evil teams win legs they get trips and cash and stuff.

I might have chosen elimination from the race over eating four pounds of meat. But if Debbie and Bianca hadn't spent all day driving along the beach they may not have had to make that choice.

Recently on the race they've taken to doing challenges where you have to compete them in a "competitive" time. Sometimes a team may have to try two or three times to get it done, but I'm really curious how "competitive" these times are. You'd think it would be a lot harder for a rank amateur to complete it in the time alloted if it were really that competitive.

If Rob and Amber are living the American Dream I think it's time to start believing in nightmares.

The brothers want to have a good time, and aren't out to test their relationship. Perhaps they shouldn't have had such a good time. This is one team I had pegged from before the race. Athletically they couldn't be beat, but the brains didn't match up to the brawn.

Man there are lots of money problems on this race. Has this always been the case and we just haven't seen it before? Or do we just have 11 teams who are crap at keeping a budget? Maybe this is why they're all on the race. They need the $1,000,000 as a buffer in their savings account for when they can't make their budget every month.

And yet more begging.

Rob is threatened by the gay guys. I like that.

And now we're in Africa. A continent with right-hand drive. And, apparently, difficult trunks to operate.

So here's the thing with Ray and Deana. Ray always seemed to be complaining about Deana's ability to drive, but she's always the one driving. If she's such a bad driver, why don't you drive, buddy?

I know head injuries are no laughing matter, and I'm not discounting Meredith's concern for Gretchen or the gravity of the situation, but head wounds bleed a lot worse than they are, and the milked the bump on her head for a lot more than it warranted. Enough to lead us into another commercial. Fast Forward...

But when interviewing the team after the event, you could see the love in Gretchen's eyes, and that was sweet.

Ha ha, Rob and Amber missed out on a fast forward. Too bad they weren't eliminated as a result.

There have been more marketing challenges in this season than seasons past. Meaning shopping, not trying to sell wares to the locals. But how cool would that be? The Amazing Race meets The Apprentice. And if such a show ever is created I want some credit for the idea.

And now they're feeding lions. That would be a really cool experience.

I just gained an ounce of respect for Amber. She's calling Rob out on some of his stupid BS. She's still getting married to the dork, but at least she knows he's a dork. And then they're in Africa and see their dang photo on the cover of a magazine. ENOUGH ALREADY!

And then they brothers rolled the car. I may have to switch allegiances to the gay guys. They're running the race hard, but they've also got their priorities straight.

I want to go on an African Safari. That's got to be one of the coolest things ever.

And now we're watching boring clips of the boring show that I just finished watching an hour ago. It's still boring. But the gay guys continue to kick out the one-liners.

And now the brothers are putting on their swimsuits. And we're caught up. Yeah, this was a really stupid show. And to reinforce the idea we get ultra-cheezy inspirational quotes from each of the remaining teams. And now we just need to wait until the next episode.

Or at least scenes from the next episode. The old team gets a standing ovation. I'm intrigued. But I won't get to find out until a week from Saturday, so don't let me in on the secret before then.