The thoughtful clerk

Wednesday night I found myself at the food court of the local mall. I was starving and had to be somewhere soon, so needed to grab a quick bite to eat that I could take on the road.

I am one of those people who, when the bill is $4.97, will give the clerk a $5 bill and two pennies to get a nickel back rather than three cents. In my days as retail clerk at Target I'd be the one to ask if you had the four cents so I didn't have to give you 96 cents change. That's just how my mind works.

My bill that evening came to $7.07. I handed the clerk a $20 bill and, because I had no nickels in my wallet, 12 cents change (a dime and two pennies). From past experience, a clerk in this situation will have one of three reactions:

1. They will understand what I've set out to do, and gladly give me my change.
2. They won't understand what I am trying to do, so will ask why I gave them that particular combination of bills and coins. Once I explain myself, they will gladly give me my change.
3. They won't understand what I am trying to do, so will punch the figure I handed them into the cash register, then will gladly give me my change.

Not that night. Someone else had rung in my order (another story). I handed the clerk my cash. She looked at the cash, looked at the cash register that showed $7.07. Back at the cash. To the register. To me. To the cash. Then she asks me, "Did she ring you in?" "Yes, she did." To the cash. To the cash register. Eventually she went for route number 3, but it took her a while to get there.

Thursday night I was to go to Sweetie's house for our weekly viewing of Survivor. I was scheduled to make the sweetie dinner that night and had stopped at my local Whole Foods to pick up supplies. When it came time to check out I picked what seemed like the shortest line, but the checker was taking her time. Originally I thought the produce and bulk foods confused her, she didn't know the codes.

But then she picked up the mango that the customer ahead of me had decided to purchase. She wasn't just figuring out the code, she was pondering the mango. Contemplating the mango. Communing with the mango. Really, what IS a mango?

That's when it hit me. These checkers weren't just stupid people out there to piss me off on my particularly type-A days. A new breed of thoughtful, contemplative, zen-like checkers had entered the world. Shopping is no longer about just purchasing goods and services. It's a life altering experience.