Jesus Was Way Cool
Today I applied for a job at a local university. Which shouldn't come as a shocker, given as I'm unemployed and actively job seeking at the moment. The university is of the Christian persuasion. As in, when you are completing the application you must indicate whether you agree with their statement of faith. You must answer questions regarding your spiritual life. They do not discriminate based on age, race or disability, but openly admit to discriminating based on religion (which is their right).
I consider myself a Christian, although I don't tend to advertise the fact, but the statement of faith was vague enough that I could wholeheartedly agree with everything said there, but if they dig a little deeper I fear I might not be Christian enough for them. The job is perfect for me, but if I don't get called in for an interview I'm going to chalk it up to the church I attend and go merrily on my way.
According to the student handbook "lifestyle expectations" students cannot engage in premarital or homosexual activities. You cannot possess alcohol or tobacco on campus, or off-campus at a school-related activity. You are not to drink alcohol while a student, unless it is part of a family custom. I bet they wouldn't be too pleased with my swearing like a sailor, either.
My version of Christianity doesn't worry itself with such things. Church events in my youth generally involved copious amounts of wine for the grown-ups. The church I attend performs same-sex unions right along with marriages. And although I think smoking is a nasty habit, I don't think it even comes up in the parts of Leviticus we choose to ignore. I prefer to focus on doing good deeds, working for social justice, and doing what I feel is right for now and evermore. I evangelize through my actions, not through announcing how groovy I think God is. My brother is a Hare Krishna, my best friend is married to a Jew, and I know I have actively agnostic and atheistic friends. Fine by me. If they want to talk religion with me I'm happy to do so, but at the end of it all it's going to be between me and God. I know everyone has heard the story that if you don't convert you're going straight to hell, so I don't think I need to be the one to condemn you to Hell.
An acquaintance works for the school, and he's a pretty cool guy, which gives me a little faith that this may all work out. But I'm trying to imagine if working there I will be a leper that has to play all Christian Goody Two-Shoes. I'm sure if it comes to the interview stage I'll be able to suss such things out.
If they ask me about my beliefs, I'll just quote them King Missile's song, I think they're on the right track:
Jesus was way cool
Everybody liked Jesus
Everybody wanted to hang out with him
Anything he wanted to do, he did
He turned water into wine
And if he wanted to
He could have turned wheat into marijuana
Or sugar into cocaine
Or vitamin pills into amphetamines
He walked on the water
And swam on the land
He would tell these stories
And people would listen
He was really cool
If you were blind or lame
You just went to Jesus
And he would put his hands on you
And you would be healed
That's so cool
He could've played guitar better than Hendrix
He could've told the future
He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world
He could've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky
He could've danced better than Barishnikov
Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of
Jesus was way cool
He told people to eat his body and drink his blood
That's so cool
Jesus was so cool
But then some people got jealous of how cool he was
So they killed him
But then he rose from the dead
He rose from the dead, danced around
Then went up to heavenI mean, that's so cool
Jesus was way cool
No wonder there are so many Christians
I consider myself a Christian, although I don't tend to advertise the fact, but the statement of faith was vague enough that I could wholeheartedly agree with everything said there, but if they dig a little deeper I fear I might not be Christian enough for them. The job is perfect for me, but if I don't get called in for an interview I'm going to chalk it up to the church I attend and go merrily on my way.
According to the student handbook "lifestyle expectations" students cannot engage in premarital or homosexual activities. You cannot possess alcohol or tobacco on campus, or off-campus at a school-related activity. You are not to drink alcohol while a student, unless it is part of a family custom. I bet they wouldn't be too pleased with my swearing like a sailor, either.
My version of Christianity doesn't worry itself with such things. Church events in my youth generally involved copious amounts of wine for the grown-ups. The church I attend performs same-sex unions right along with marriages. And although I think smoking is a nasty habit, I don't think it even comes up in the parts of Leviticus we choose to ignore. I prefer to focus on doing good deeds, working for social justice, and doing what I feel is right for now and evermore. I evangelize through my actions, not through announcing how groovy I think God is. My brother is a Hare Krishna, my best friend is married to a Jew, and I know I have actively agnostic and atheistic friends. Fine by me. If they want to talk religion with me I'm happy to do so, but at the end of it all it's going to be between me and God. I know everyone has heard the story that if you don't convert you're going straight to hell, so I don't think I need to be the one to condemn you to Hell.
An acquaintance works for the school, and he's a pretty cool guy, which gives me a little faith that this may all work out. But I'm trying to imagine if working there I will be a leper that has to play all Christian Goody Two-Shoes. I'm sure if it comes to the interview stage I'll be able to suss such things out.
If they ask me about my beliefs, I'll just quote them King Missile's song, I think they're on the right track:
Jesus was way cool
Everybody liked Jesus
Everybody wanted to hang out with him
Anything he wanted to do, he did
He turned water into wine
And if he wanted to
He could have turned wheat into marijuana
Or sugar into cocaine
Or vitamin pills into amphetamines
He walked on the water
And swam on the land
He would tell these stories
And people would listen
He was really cool
If you were blind or lame
You just went to Jesus
And he would put his hands on you
And you would be healed
That's so cool
He could've played guitar better than Hendrix
He could've told the future
He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world
He could've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky
He could've danced better than Barishnikov
Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of
Jesus was way cool
He told people to eat his body and drink his blood
That's so cool
Jesus was so cool
But then some people got jealous of how cool he was
So they killed him
But then he rose from the dead
He rose from the dead, danced around
Then went up to heavenI mean, that's so cool
Jesus was way cool
No wonder there are so many Christians
posted by Swankette at 6:19 PM
3 Comments:
Good luck with the job.
I'm with you on all the Christian stuff. I've been asked to help teach CCD at the Catholic church. The religious ed director must be desperate.
I guess I shouldn't wear my shirt that says "Blondes, the other white meat."
Good luck. If they don't like King Missile, give 'em a few bars of Alice's Restaurant.
I don't know if I could work at a place like that no matter how perfect the job. I probably wouldn't be interviewed since I'm a pagan and all anyway...
Post a Comment
<< Home