The Rule of Swank

At its inception the House of Swank had many rules to maintain order in the kingdom. Such rules included:

• Houseguests are limited to three nights a week, one weekend night and two weekday nights, without prior permission from your fellow Swanks.
• Treat foods (such as ice cream) are purchased for your individual use. You may not raid the other Swanks' stash without express permission prior to the invasion.
• In the kitchen, if you made the mess you clean the mess, unless negotiations have previously been made.
• In the rest of the house, clean as you feel necessary, and don't get pissed if the housemate is less anal than you and doesn't feel the need to clean the top of the door jambs.

The House of Swank has been through many moves since that original apartment, and now the Swanks are a married couple and a cat, rather than two swinging single girls and their houseboy who liked to crash on one of the many futons available. However, one very important rule still applies:

• When we run out of glasses, the party is over.

In the original House of Swank it was almost a challenge that Kaphine and I put upon ourselves. Because we were two swingin' single girls whose housewares complemented each other well, except we were both well stocked when it came to glasses.

Now, it just scares me. I'm almost done with the unpacking of the kitchen, and even with the amount of culling that's been done over the last year (between my moving in and upgrading with the wedding) we've got a LOT of glassware. An inventory:

• 10 ruby red tumblers, inherited from Grandma, that Mom and Grandpa used to get by drinking Pepsi, but are totally swank so cannot be given away. They also have a beverage pitcher that coordinates that looks exactly like the Kool-Aid logo. OH YEAH!
• 8 silver-rimmed tumblers, also inherited from Grandma, and also too Swank to donate.
• 6 Kenyon college tumblers. If I even thought of disposing of these it would be grounds for divorce in Sweetie's eyes, and that makes them super-swank.
• 12 white Crate and Barrel coffee mugs, that coordinate with the new dishes.
• 1 Kenyon coffee mug (see above)
• 2 Tri-City Dust Devils coffee mugs. The sentimental attachment is strong, and they are perfect soup mugs.
• 3 Coca-Cola glasses. I think it's a crime to dispose of these.
• 3 Polo-logoed double old fashioned glasses. I'm not particularly attached to the look, but I love double old fashioneds, and these are the only ones we've got.
• 6 Port glasses. Monogrammed, Christmas present to Sweetie from his sister this year.
• 7 random liquer glasses. Antique.
• 4 shot glasses. Two with senitmental value.
• 8 generic wine glasses.
• 3 lead crystal wine glasses, a going-away present from the party rental shop I worked at in college (from the stash of people's personal items that accidentally got returned to us and never got claimed).
• 2 etched wine glasses, with coordinating charms, from my friends' wedding shower a few years ago.
• 3 champagne flutes (I believe they were all 21st birthday presents, one pair and one solo)
• 1 Willamette Vineyard wine glass, from a wine tasting I attended once upon a time.
• 1 completely random wine glass that I have NO IDEA where it came from.
• 1 22 oz pilsner from Caroline's comedy club
• 8 generic beer pilsners
• 4 Rogue brewery pint glasses (2 Rogue logo, 2 Yellow Snow logo)
• 12 coffee cups, coordinating with the china pattern (minimum, I'm too lazy to go count those)

I honestly don't know when I developed this glass fetish, and frankly it scares me. So, anyone want a drink?