The Sound of One Hand Typing
I suffered an injury this morning due, in large part, to my own laziness, which leaves me unable to dfo much worth doing without annoyance and inconvenience to myself. I've already made about 200 typographical errors since starting this post. (Actually, I meant to type 100 errors, but decided to let that error stand. If you're going to exaggerate for effect you might as well REALLY exaggerate!)
This morning I was hungry and decided to make myself a tasty sandwich with the leftovers from Saturday's pork roast. YUM! The roast was sliced a bit thicker than I desired, so I was going to cut it into thinner slices for my eating ease and pleasure. The knife I would normally use for such a task was dirty, and rather than taking the 30 seconds necessary to clean and dry it I opted to grab a different knife off the rack.
I'd say I've got A-list through C-list knives in the kitchen. The A-list are the Henckels and Wusthofs. The C-list are mostly in the knife block Mom gave to me 10 years ago when she was done with it (and even at their best they were B-list knives). The B-list are the Cutco, Henckels made for Target - they're fine knives if you don't know any better, but they sure as heck aren't A-list knives.
So instead of my A-list knife I decided to go to the B-list. I figured a B-list knive actually manufactured to slice meat would be better than a serrated edge or paring knife. And I managed to knick the top of my left index finger on the first slice through. It's not a deep cut, but I think it was right on the blood vessel, because it's definitely a bleeder.
And due to the way the cut goes up to the tip of the finger, and the fact that I've got fingernails, it's not the easiest cut to bandage. I started the day with three Band-Aids on it: One to wrap around the finger and cover the bulk of the cut, one to wrap over the top of the finger, to get the little bit of the cut that wasn't covered, and prevent blood from dripping out of the other Band-Aid, and a third to wrap around the base of the second, so that it would actually stay stuck. I have since made my way to Target and back to buy some Band-Aids specifically designed for fingers AND replenish the standard Band-Aid supply, as I went through a LOT of Band-Aids this morning (between having a couple I couldn't get stuck right and having to redress the wound, when I managed a two Band-Aid procedure). We're down to one Band-Aid now, but given that it's on the left index finger it's still tough as hell to type, and given that the Band-Aid doesn't allow my first knuckle to bend I'm going around eternally pointing or proclaiming that I'm #1.
I'm #1 doofus today, that's for sure.
But, ever the optimist, I did learn something as a result of my adventures. If I need to raise my hand above my heart to stop bleeding (or if there were some other reason I'd want to do it, but I can't think of another reason right now), the back of the couch is a perfect height to rest my upper arm on, to make the process a bit less troublesome. And if you're wise enough to injure your left hand, you've got a perfect view of the television at the same time.
This morning I was hungry and decided to make myself a tasty sandwich with the leftovers from Saturday's pork roast. YUM! The roast was sliced a bit thicker than I desired, so I was going to cut it into thinner slices for my eating ease and pleasure. The knife I would normally use for such a task was dirty, and rather than taking the 30 seconds necessary to clean and dry it I opted to grab a different knife off the rack.
I'd say I've got A-list through C-list knives in the kitchen. The A-list are the Henckels and Wusthofs. The C-list are mostly in the knife block Mom gave to me 10 years ago when she was done with it (and even at their best they were B-list knives). The B-list are the Cutco, Henckels made for Target - they're fine knives if you don't know any better, but they sure as heck aren't A-list knives.
So instead of my A-list knife I decided to go to the B-list. I figured a B-list knive actually manufactured to slice meat would be better than a serrated edge or paring knife. And I managed to knick the top of my left index finger on the first slice through. It's not a deep cut, but I think it was right on the blood vessel, because it's definitely a bleeder.
And due to the way the cut goes up to the tip of the finger, and the fact that I've got fingernails, it's not the easiest cut to bandage. I started the day with three Band-Aids on it: One to wrap around the finger and cover the bulk of the cut, one to wrap over the top of the finger, to get the little bit of the cut that wasn't covered, and prevent blood from dripping out of the other Band-Aid, and a third to wrap around the base of the second, so that it would actually stay stuck. I have since made my way to Target and back to buy some Band-Aids specifically designed for fingers AND replenish the standard Band-Aid supply, as I went through a LOT of Band-Aids this morning (between having a couple I couldn't get stuck right and having to redress the wound, when I managed a two Band-Aid procedure). We're down to one Band-Aid now, but given that it's on the left index finger it's still tough as hell to type, and given that the Band-Aid doesn't allow my first knuckle to bend I'm going around eternally pointing or proclaiming that I'm #1.
I'm #1 doofus today, that's for sure.
But, ever the optimist, I did learn something as a result of my adventures. If I need to raise my hand above my heart to stop bleeding (or if there were some other reason I'd want to do it, but I can't think of another reason right now), the back of the couch is a perfect height to rest my upper arm on, to make the process a bit less troublesome. And if you're wise enough to injure your left hand, you've got a perfect view of the television at the same time.
posted by Swankette at 2:31 PM
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