Dinner Time

If you've read a bit of this blog, or spent much time with me, you probably know that I dig cooking. I dig cookbooks and cooking shows and fancy pots and pans and know that a mandolin is more than just a musical instrument.

Cooking a quality dinner on a busy weeknight can be a challenge, because you are working with a limited amount of time unless you want to eat at 10 pm every night.

So, all things considered I really SHOULD like the program "30 Minute Meals" featuring Rachel Ray on the Food Network. But I just can't stand it. And here's why:

• You makes it seem like it's such an accomplishment that you could get a meal on the table in 30 minutes, and you are the one person who has the key to the kingdom. Except it's not THAT challenging, it just gets difficult when you're looking to add variety. Epicurious has a search you can do, Gourmet has a special section each month, I just want to explore all of my options.
• My TV has volume control. You're not running the dishwasher while you cook (and even if you were, they make quiet models, Sweetie and I had one installed a few weeks ago). IT REALLY ISN'T NECESSARY FOR YOU TO YELL THROUGH THE ENTIRE SHOW.
• You think it's cute that you refer to extra virgin olive oil as "EVOO." And tonight you referred to mozzarella cheese as "Mozz." They're stupid sounding, not cute, and I don't think you'd add that much time if you said extra virgin olive oil instead. Actually, it might save you time, because it seems most of the time you say, "EVOO... that means extra virgin olive oil" as if we're now part of the cool kids club now that we have this little snippet of information.
• According to Alton Brown there are a lot of men who watch the show for you rather than to learn cooking tips. You're not an unattractive person, but I just don't get that. MAYBE THEY'RE ALL GUYS WHO ARE REALLY INTO YELLING.

So I don't care if it condems me to a life of 31 minute meals, I'll suffer through somehow. But I'd really appreciate it if Food Network would move your show to a timeslot I'd never watch.