Election Day

I'm sick of the signs. I'm sick of the ads. I'm sick of the fact that I must check out the Election Scorecard on Slate.com every morning before I can start work.

I can still remember election night 2000. I'd stayed home from work that day sick. So that night I was lying on the futon/couch watching the results come in. I should have gone to bed early, so I could be a functioning human being at work the next day. I ended up setting an alarm clock in the living room and falling asleep in the middle of the night not knowing who would be President.

These two factors combined have me fearing Tuesday night. Sweetie and I perched on the edge of the count, stress levels rising, getting infuriated with the circus that is going on in front of us. I can't do it. I need a break from it all.

So Tuesday night we're going out on the town. Talking some friends into going along with us. It will likely be an early dinner, maybe a movie. Hopefully won't be too crowded since everyone else will be at home pondering the election. No talk of politics will be allowed. It will be an escapist fantasy. And we'll get home early enough that we can engage for a short time in the pollster results, see if we've got a new president yet or not.

I've just completed my absentee ballot, so it seems fitting that I be absent for the election.

I VOTED!

Today I filled out my absentee ballot, and once I'm done typing this entry will drive it to the local post office so I can say I've done my civic duty.

Over the past 14 years of voting I've voted permanent absentee in all but 3 elections. My first few elections I voted absentee because I was in college and so could not make it to the local polls. The first time I was going to vote at the local polling place I was giddy. I think I'd seen too many images of the local polling place with voting machines and fancy booths with curtains that slide shut that I was destined for dissapointment. The polling place was about 1/4 mile from my apartment at the time, but I drove there on my way to work. It was in a classroom at the local medical school. I wound my way through the halls to the appropriate room. There were a few cardboard "booths" set up on one side of the room, where you could stand if you wanted some sense of privacy. There was a big table in the middle of the room where several people were sitting completing ballots. I completed my ballot and put it into the box. The experience was exactly like voting absentee, but I did it down the street with a bunch of other people around. I'd rather be sitting at the dining room table thank you very much.

The second experience was in Washington, and was a bit closer to what I had originally dreamed voting at the local polling place to be like. I went to the basement of the local church. Stood in line. Pulled the curtain shut behind me. Now I felt like I was publicly doing my civic duty, and making a difference. It made me proud to stand there with other people, casting a decision about America's future.

My final time voting at the polling place was the 1996 Presidential Election. In addition to President there were a LOT of other important issues on the ballot and I wanted my voice to be heard. It was one of those crazy days at work, and I was frantic to make it out of the office in time to make it to the polling place before it closed. I scrambled out of the office and through the dark, rainy evening, through Seattle traffic, to cast my vote. I got to the polling place and the line was insane. At least 30 people in front of me and something like 4 voting booths. I wanted to be at home under a blanket, but would stand in line for 30+ minutes so my voice could be heard. I waited. Inched forward. Waited a little longer. Finally got to cast my vote.

Of the important ballot issues I voted on that day, not a single one went the way I wanted it to. Mine was not a deciding vote for POTUS or any of the other positions on the ballot. Voting in a polling place was highly overrated.

So now I am on permanent absentee status. That means they mail my ballot to me, and I can fill it out at my leisure. Use the lazy Sunday afternoon to get it done, in case Tuesday turns out too crazy to allow me the necessary time. I can sit at my computer to read the voters pamphlets and research candidates and issues online. And when it gets to be too much I've got my remote control, so I can find an amusing diversion to allow my anger at political messages to subside so I can make a well reasoned vote.

You've heard it before, but I'll reiterate it again. Your vote counts this election, so make sure your voice is heard. And if the line at the polling place is too long this time, consider becoming an absentee voter. Your vote will count just as much.

It's the Economy, Stupid

After hearing a story on Marketplace this evening I have come to realize that the only thing W can do to help the economy right now is resign as President and drop out of the election.

The rest of the world hates the United States right now. To the point where US companies abroad are having difficulty drumming up business. Euro Disney is having a tougher time than normal. Starbucks, McDonald's, Coca-Cola... if you're a brand associated with the US then people from other countries are shying away from you because you are American. Those profits can't make it back to the US and can't feed into our economy.

If we want a healthy economy we need as many potential customers as possible. Bill Gates and the beneficiaries of Sam Walton's fortunes are hand over fist rich because their products and/or stores are ubiquitous. It may cost more to buy a Rolex, but Bill Gates could buy and sell the guy behind the company.

To achieve a strong economy we can't disenfranchise our consumers. Perhaps W should step out of office and take a Business 101 class.

World Series

Having been a Cardinals fan all my life I'm sad they couldn't manage to win at least one game. Couldn't manage to at least hold the lead for 1 play in 1 game. But I'm glad the darn curse of Boston is over. Now the Cubs fans can whine even louder.

Last night was one of those nights where I didn't really care about ANYTHING, much less the final game of the World Series. I know that makes me a bad baseball fan, but I'll live. For a minute there it looked like they were going to give the MVP award to Johnny Damon (aka Grizzly Adams). I'm glad they didn't, because I don't want the ugliest man in baseball to be MVP.

As the playoffs were starting my friend kaphine, who lives in Cambridge, Mass., told me she didn't want the Red Sox to win the World Series because she was afraid of the riots that would ensue. She quickly caught the fever, however. I asked her about the celebrations that took place, and I loved her response so will share it here now:

I think part of Boston's problem is the high concentrations of undergraduates. There were so many people (guys) out driving and honking and yelling in the street last night that I swear the testosterone actually oozed from the street all the way to the windows of our fourth floor appartment.

Wishful thinking

On msn.com this evening:

Bush, Kerry trade jabs

I read it as:

Bush, Kerry trade jobs

If only it could be that easy.

Yum!

Today is one of my favorite days of the culinary year. When I walked into the local supermarket after work to pick up something for dinner satsuma oranges were on sale. YAY!

Satsumas are the world's perfect fruit. They're the perfect blend of sweet and sour. They're bite-sized. They're easy to peel. I'll likely be eating them breakfast lunch and dinner until they go out of season.

Satsuma season once coincided very closely with a new roommate moving in with me. She was dumbfounded when I brought the 5 lb. box of oranges home and was positively speechless when I told her I usually go through 2 boxes a year.

This food addiction is not unprecedented in my family. My mother is addicted to corn on the cob and green beans. From the time they come into season they are a feature item at virtually every dinner until the season comes to its painful end. Which means that if you're ever invited to dinner over at Mom's house in the height of summer you will likely be treated to both.

But that's enough typing. I've got oranges to eat.

In Memoriam: John Peel 1939-2004

The music world lost a great man yesterday when John Peel passed away from a heart attack at the age of 65. He was a well known and respected DJ for the BBC, and was responsible for introducing the world to a lot of the greatest bands, and helped introduce punk and reggae to the masses.

I became aware of John Peel in my teens while scouring the local record shops for new tunes. It seemed that there were Peel Sessions for all of my favorite British bands. To where I would scan the racks, and if there was a Peel Session recording for a band I'd never heard of I'd make note of the name and make a mental note to check them out.

You should go check out a Peel Session today.

Balance

A co-worker forwarded this e-mail to me today. I think it's funny:

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor. Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things," God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God, "That's Washington State, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, plains, and coulees. The people from Washington State are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats, and carriers of peace."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance."

God smiled, "There is another Washington. Wait until you see the idiots I put there."

Red, White and Blue

There will be plenty of red at the upcoming World Series, so everyone should vote blue in the presidential election.

And while we're on the subject, why is it the democrats are blue and republicans are red? You'd think that since red is closer to pink they'd make the democrats red, because being a democrat and a liberal commie pinko really aren't that far apart either, you know?

More on Crossfire

Jon Stewart's appearance on crossfire has been the talk of the blogging world lately. A lot of people, after reading the transcript, are commenting on how Mr. Stewart became rather rude toward the end of the appearance. Until this afternoon I didn't disagree.

I watched the clip today. Stewart handled himself perfectly the whole time. He did come on with an agenda, and the hosts were not prepared for this. Apparently they did not go over what they wished to talk about with their guest, or did not ask the guest what he planned on discussing. You'd think they'd at least have a little pow-wow before going on the air to go over what was going on.

After watching the clip I now think this was like Da Ali G Show turned on its head. Ali G is an interviewer who is too dumb for his guests. Jon Stewart was a guest who was too intelligent for his hosts.

Now I'm thinking I need to stage a write-in campaign for Jon Stewart for president. He gets it all a lot more than anyone else seems to.

Psycho Kitty

Today I took my cat to the vet in preparation for his upcoming move to the grandparents'. He's miserable when in the cat carrier and in the car (moans the whole time), but if I drug him up he sleeps and is just fine.

Most cats, when you take them to the vet, are stress-cases. Vets do not do nice things to them. My cat LOVES it at the vets office. I believe the reason for this is two-fold. 1) It means he is let out of the cat carrier, if only for a few minutes. 2) All the vet-techs at his first veterinarians ADORED him. As soon as we showed up they would tear the carrier from my hands so they could take him into the back and lavish attention on him. As a result, when you take him to the vet he turns into a purr machine and loves EVERYONE he comes into contact with.

So I've got the world's mellowest cat who's madly in love with the vet and I'm asking for drugs to calm him down for the roadtrip. I was given the third degree. Why are we traveling? Where are we traveling to? When are we traveling? Have I started packing for the trip yet?

We passed the test and Samson was prescribed valium for his move to the grandparents'. He'll be living there until mid-February (moving into a construction zone = let's leave him in Portland as long as we can), so the vet said if I wanted more for the trip home to give him a call and he'd do a new prescription.

Then I go to the pharmacy and am prescribed about twice as much as what the cat needs for this expedition. Two options:

1. He went ahead and prescribed for the trip home now.
2. He thinks I need to be on valium, so threw a little extra in for fun.

According to the prescription bottle:

May cause drowsiness. Alcohol may intensify this effect. Use
care when operating a car or dangerous machinery.

So there goes the plan to go drinking with the cat Saturday afternoon and then have him take the wheel for part of the trip to Portland.

A Request

My father is currently spending the night in the hospital.

He had dental surgery yesterday. This morning he was feeling very sleepy, and took his pain medication before he had eaten. He then passed out at the breakfast table while my mom was on the line with 911.

He was taken to the hospital and was dehydrated. They have done multiple tests and found nothing wrong, but they are keeping him there overnight just to keep an eye on him. My mother suspects it might be stress related, as several years ago when my half-brother was having an operation my father almost passed out at the hospital that day.

However, given a history of heart problems that culminated in a stint implant, double bypass surgery, and a major stroke, and given that he had to go off one of his heart medications for his surgery yesterday there is, of course concern.

Basically, he's in the hospital, but will probably be going home tomorrow before noon. I'll be heading down to Portland on a pre-scheduled trip Saturday Night (going to see Little Shop of Horrors with the folks), and he'll be joining us for the trip. No need to take time off work to go see him or go take care of mom.

If you could keep him in your thoughts and prayers it would be appreciated.

10/21/2004 10:30 am - Dad's home now, and feeling fine. They weren't able to find anything wrong with him, so sent him home with a clean bill of health. Thoughts and prayers are still appreciated, though, because in some ways it's scarier when they DON'T find anything wrong with you, because now we don't know why it happened.

Six Degrees of Separation

I think everyone knows the six degrees of separation theory. Worst case, you've heard of six degrees of Kevin Bacon. Well, I've been pondering this lately, and it seems like with the preponderance of bloggers out there it would be the perfect way to test this theory.

I don't know what the test is. I'll leave that to someone else to come up with.

The reason this is coming up at all is that I stumbled across this blog. I got several hits to my blog directly from him, most likely because he posted a link to a post I'd made.

Here are the facts as I know them:

• He's a baseball fan
• He has opinions on politics
• He reads
• He's from Portland
• Those in the know know that in Portland you don't have six degrees of separation, you have two or three on a bad day.

Therefore, it stands to reason, that I probably know this guy. Or knows someone who knows this guy. Or I stood behind him in line at Escape From New York Pizza once. And now it occurs to me that there are probably a TON of other bloggers out there who fit this bill, I just haven't stubmled across their blogs yet.

No on Nethercutt

By the time the election rolls around anyone reading my blog could probably fill out my ballot, as it appears I'm blogging on a lot of the hot issues.

The US Senate race in Washington is between Patty Murray (D), incumbent, and George Nethercutt (R). Nethercutt's ads disgust me, so I cannot, in good faith, vote for him.

The most egregious is an ad in which he shows a cleverly edited clip of Patty Murray appearing to say nice things about Osama bin Laden. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out it's just spin. High school students get it, so do other voters.

However, the current ad I've seen all over the place disturbs me a little bit more, because it's not as easy to spot how skewed it is. The ad features his daughter talking about all the great things her Dad has done. How he's out there trying to make the world a better place for all of us. How do we know this? Well, he did great work for diabetics. How does his daughter know? SHE'S a diabetic!!!

Um, OK, so you did a cool thing that would affect an immediate member of your family. Did you do equally cool things for challenged people who aren't members of your family? I now know you're a nepotistic person, but I don't want nepotism in Washington. Well, more nepotism. The Bush nepotism is more than enough for our country.

Thankfully, Patty Murray doesn't disgust me. If she did, I'm not quite sure what I'd do. In 1992 I voted for my Dad for US Senate, because I hated both Packwood and AuCoin and the smear tactics they were engaging in. However, my Dad isn't a resident of Washington, so I wouldn't be able to give him my vote.

Blogging for fun and profit

Someone just posted an advertisement in my blog, disguised as a comment to a post. That post has been deleted.

Please do not market to my readers, fair strangers. I have a degree in marketing, and if there is marketing to be done to the readers of this blog it shall be done by me.

Political Debates, Swank Style

Last night I had the opportunity to watch my state's gubernatorial debate off the sweetie's TiVo. About 10 seconds into the opening remarks of the first candidate he was already boring me with what he had to say, so I hit the fast forward button. Then I started fast-forwarding if they weren't answering the question. Then I was fast-forwarding when they were mentioning their big grand plan for the 10th time. By the end of the debate I was basically only listening to the questions, because the discourse went something like this:

Moderator: Candidate, do you plan on raising teacher salaries while you are in office? If so, how? If not, why not?

Candidate 1: Teachers are great. But I want to talk about my opponents health-plan that the mentioned 3 questions ago. ....fast forward....

Candidate 2: Teachers are awesome and deserve lots of respect. In fact, in my fifty point manifesto point number 17 says that education is important. ... fast forward...

I've come up with a new plan for the political debates:

Each of the candidates will be in a clear, soundproof, box and I, as moderator, will have control over their microphones. If the question isn't answered, or the candidate goes off topic, or just starts to drivel on without really saying anything, then I get to turn their microphone off and they have sacrificed their turn.

I will encourage the cameras to show their faces, because the expression on their face when they get cut-off would be priceless.

I would also be free to interrupt and tell them that they were boring me, and should really be more interesting if they want me to pay attention to anything.

CNN vs Comedy Central

Thanks to teacherrefpoet for directing me to a transcript of Jon Stewart on CNN's Crossfire.

It worries me that a lot of people including, apparently, the folks at Crossfire, don't realize that The Daily Show airs on COMEDY CENTRAL. It's a COMEDY program, people!

I do respect Jon Stewart even more now, because he understands that CNN and Comedy Central are two very different networks, and serve two very different purposes. It frightens me that people might be turning to The Daily Show for all of their political discourse, and making important decisions based on satire.

And, for what it's worth, I'm GLAD that Jon Stewart didn't stick it to Kerry. Part of what I like about important political figures appearing on The Daily Show is that Jon Stewart makes them human, asking them mundane questions, rather than the stuff they've got soundbites and spin all prepared for.

Go Cards!

As a baseball fan, it's probably my blogger duty to post my thoughts about the playoffs. That and it's a slow news day, so here you go.

Here's how I wanted the championship series to play out:

American League:
Boston vs. Minnesota, with Boston winning.

You have to root for Boston because of the history. I hate the Yankees with a passion, so really wanted them out as soon as possible. Unfortunately, that's not to be. Looks like the Yankees will make it to the World Series, but I'd really like Boston to win this game (as of writing we are in the top of the 11th of game 4 with the score tied).

National League:
St. Louis vs. Houston, with St. Louis winning.

I was born in St. Louis, and to the extent that I cared about baseball in my youth I was a Cardinals fan, so this is an easy choice. Plus, I hate the Atlanta Braves. Maybe even more than I hate the Yankees. That's one part I despise Ted Turner, one part I detest the tomahawk chop, and a dash of my Dad is an Atlanta fan and I like to spar with him. I'm very glad that Atlanta and St. Louis are not facing each other now, as it would make my mother's life insufferable. 1996 we were all in St. Louis during the NLCS and my father was an insufferable fool in his cheering on of the Atlanta Braves.

So, at the end of the day, I want St. Louis to be World Series champions. Even if Boston somehow manages to pull out a championship series win. As a friend who lives in Cambridge, Mass. pointed out - there were riots in the streets of Boston when the Patriots won the Superbowl. If Boston actually won a world series it would be absolutely insane.

TV Viewing for Cynics

The sweetie is a fan of NYPD Blue. I will often watch with him. This season they have added a new pretty blonde character to the show, to replace the pretty blonde character previously played by Charlotte Ross.

Apparently two weeks ago the new pretty blonde was flirting with everyone on the squad, which is not appropriate when you are a New York City detective. Last week she was still kind of flirting and had a fallout with the Latino detective. This week they made up, and everyone is going to live happily ever after.

The cynic in me says that they were testing out the new pretty blonde to see how she worked out - if audiences liked her everyone would make good. If she didn't test well, they'd use the flirting to get her kicked off the force and bring some backup pretty blonde onto the show.

The cynicism always comes out strongest at the end of the season. When cliffhangers are written that basically say, "We are in contract negotiations with this actor right now. If negotiations are successful the character will be back again, but if they aren't successful then they'll take the job in Madagascar and you'll never see them again." It also comes out when you know characters are leaving shows. When Sherry Stringfeld (another pretty blonde) left ER she moved to Arizona. She was able to move back to Chicago several seasons later and rejoin the show. When Anthony Edwards left ER he died. Unless they pull a "Who Killed Mark Green" reminiscent of Dallas he ain't coming back to the show.

The scary thing is, figuring out what plot twists were written in to accommodate audience polling and contract negotiations can be more entertaining than the programs themselves.

Chill Out, People

Recently Washington State's system of primary voting changed. Previously it was a blanket primary. Anyone who wanted to be a candidate got their name on the ballot. You voted for one person for each position, regardless of which party they were affiliated with. Person with the most votes for each party made it onto the final ballot.

The Supreme Court of the United States ruled this method of voting unconstitutional and required the state to change systems. I don't know the nitty-gritty of why they said this, but I know that we, as a state, didn't get a choice in the matter. The top judicial dogs of the land said we've got to change, so as I see it we've got to change. Deal with it.

The new method of primary voting is such: When you get your ballot you pick a party (Democrat, Republican or Independent), and you vote for candidates in only that party. Top person in each party makes the final ballot. You don't have to declare your party. You can be a democrat for one election and a republican for the next. No one will ever know, no one will ever tell. You can vote for the other party, or split parties, come the general election, but you can only pick within that one party for the primary election.

This made a lot of people mad. Mad enough that they have an initiatve on the current ballot to change to a modified primary. Back to the old system where every candidate is on one ballot and you only get to pick one. However, instead of the top vote getter of each party making it on the final ballot, only the top two vote-getters overall make it onto the ballot. Because our voters rights are being trampled on by being forced to pick one party for the primary election.

ENOUGH ALREADY! This is the PRIMARY ELECTIONS we're talking about. The vote to decide who we get to vote for in the future. The likelihood that there will be two primary races that are of crucial importance to you, and that the candidates in those two races will be in different parties, is so infinitesimally small that you should just suck it up and pick which is most important to you.

In the 1960 primaires in Missouri my parents both voted Democrat so they could try to get someone other than JFK on the ballot. Not sure that I agree with their politics, but the issue was important enough to the folks that they sacrificed voting on the primary election in their other races to make that choice. It's not rocket science, people, it's a simple vote.

So, on election day, I'll be voting against I-872. (Actually, before election day since I vote by absentee ballot, but lets not cut hairs). I'd encourage you to vote the same, but I'd rather you vote against than not vote at all.

Crowd Control

First off, many congratulations to the Seattle Storm for winning the WNBA World Championship Series against the Connecticut Sun. You gals rock!

Sweetie and I got to catch the 2 home games (of a best of three series) this last week. Key Arena was sold out for both events. The noise and energy in that place was off the hook. I had forgotten how intense it can be in an enclosed arena for a sporting event. The energy feeds you and get you going in a way that does not happen at an outdoor sports venue.

The last time I experienced such a large, crazy crowd at an organized sporting event was in the Portland Winterhawks run to win the Memorial Cup in 1998. I caught at least one game of each series they played toward their WHL Championship. WNBA basketball and Jr. League hockey attract very different crowds. The teenage girls at a WNBA game aren't puck bunnies.

There are three things that really struck me this time around, and two of them you won't get at Safeco or Qwest Fields.

1. Why is it the guy sitting a few rows in front of you always insists on standing up for every stupid thing, forcing you to stand for the entire event so as not to miss something? (This isn't necessarily applicable only to indoor events, but I really noticed it the other night).

2. There is a common knowledge created through the energy of the crowd that allows you to know what's going on in the game, even if you don't really know anything about the game. I found myself cheering for things that I knew were cheer-worthy, but I don't really know what happened and I don't really know why it was cheer worthy. But there were 17,000 other people there that let me know it was cheer worthy, and so I cheered. If you experience this effect long enough you will intuitively learn the ways of the game. I don't feel so guilty about dragging Kaphine along to some of those WHL games back in 1998 now.

3. At outdoor venues the sound person is a puppet-master. They play the music to make you clap in a rhythmic pattern, and you will clap in that rhythmic pattern as long as they play the music. The music stops, you stop. The sound person has major control over the cheer patterns of the crowd. At the indoor venue the sound person is merely pushing down the first domino in the chain. They may start that first person clapping, but from there it is an organic event that they can try to shape, but do not have ultimate control over. The energy just bounces of the ceiling and creates a never-ending loops of cheers and claps.

I'm looking forward to going into Key Arena in a years time and seeing the banner for chicks hoops hanging from the rafters next to the Sonics and Thunderbirds retired jerseys. Maybe it will cause a few more people in this fine city to pay attention to the game.

Cramming

I've always been a bit of a procrastinator. I don't do really good work until the stress level is up and the pressure is on.

Once wrote a 20 page research paper from first to final draft over a three day weekend. Got a really good grade on it, too. (Most of the research had already been done, but still)

The same, apparently, holds true for dental exams. I've been lazy about my flossing lately. Living between 2 houses, I haven't always been using the Sonicare. I forgot about my impending dental appointment until they called me earlier this week to confirm. Then I kicked it into high gear and started extra brushing and flossing so I wouldn't get a lecture from the hygenist, and she wouldn't go home and tell bad stories about me to her boyfriend who used to be my coworker.

It must have worked, because my dental health continues to improve. I wonder what would happen if I actually flossed every day for the next three months the way I'm supposed to. Yeah, like that's gonna' happen.

A New Career

I think I've discovered what my next career move should be: UPS Driver.

Some of my most satisfying professional relationships have been with my local UPS driver, or other package delivery driver. The RPS driver who serviced my first place of employment was such a stud that I ran into him once on the street in Portland (after I'd been away from the job, and Portland, for two years), and not only did he recognize me enough to give me a polite head nod, but was able to say, "Hey, Swankette, long time no see what have you been up to?" But UPS wins because I like the simplicity of their uniforms, and brown looks good on me.

It pays really darn good. At least that's what I've heard.

You get to drive a big truck. Driving a big truck is empowering. I drove a big (24 foot) truck from Portland to the Tri-Cities once. I was beaming with pride at my ability. Driving a big truck is FUN!

Sometimes you get to give people really cool packages that make them very happy and are a big surprise to them.

Today I got delivered to me the bonus CD that I got for pre-ordering Cake's CD early off their website (I should get the actual CD tomorrow). The bonus CD includes a really AWESOME cover of Strangers in the Night. I had completely forgotten that I even ordered this a month ago, so my UPS driver was the stud of the morning when he delivered my surprise package to me.

Thank you Mr. UPS Driver!

I Hate Eyman

If you live in the state of Washington you've heard of Tim Eyman. If you're from elsewhere, be thankful. He's a right-wing activist who is always creating some initiative or other about cutting taxes. However, he is so concerned with cutting taxes he has no concern as to the effect those cuts will have.

His latest initiative will allow "electronic scratch tickets" (aka slot machines) into local bars and bowling alleys. They'll be taxed at 35%, and that money would be used to reduce property taxes.

Today The Conversation on KUOW was about that initiative. They invited Eyman onto the program and the host interviewed him regarding the initiative. Here's my interpretation of that interview:

Host: What's the difference between an electronic scratch ticket and a slot machine?
Eyman: This initiative would save taxpayers billions of dollars. You should vote for it. The indian casinos have a monopoly and it's wrong that the state allows that.
H: What about Indian Treaties? They're soveriegn nations. The state has no control over what happens on tribal land.
E: This initiative would save the average property owner from $150-220/year depending on if you use the state's estimates or my estimates.
H: What will it cost to implement this bill?
E: The net proceeds go directly to the taxpayers.
H: Won't this encourage gambling?
E: This will give people who would gamble anyway the option to do it at places other than a tribal casino.

Here are my basic problems here:
1) We're looking at an average savings of $10-20/month, if you discount the costs to implement the bill, which could be substantial.
2) I live at least 45 minutes from the closest tribal casino. A lot of city-folk are similar distance. You cannot tell me that if there were a casino at the corner that a few of these folks wouldn't partkae just a little more often in the activity.
3) Mr. Horse's Ass: When someone asks you a direct question it is generally considered appropriate to answer THAT question!

Grrr...

Good Eats

Portlanders, take note. Recently I was watching the Travel Channel and they were doing a program on the World's Best Truck Stops. Jubitz Truck Stop in Portland was #5 on the list.

I've heard good things about the Jubitz Truck Stop before, but next time I'm in town I may need to check out the restaurant. Acoording to the show the executive chef is Horst Mager. As in the guy behind the Rheinlander, which is one of my favorite restaurants in Portland and has the best weiner schnitzel I've ever eaten.

I am intrigued to translate that cuisine to the chicken-fried steak huge portions I know of truck stop fare.

A New Take on Foreign Policy

Dear Mr. President (whoever you may end up being):

I have a new theory on how you need to approach the issue in the middle east and other hotspots throughout the world.

You should immediately withdraw your troops from everywhere and focus them all on an immediate invasion to oust President Marc Ravalomanana from Madagascar. The election of Ravalomanana caused a secession of half of the country, so there is obviously unrest. They are in dispute with France over several islands, and if that is not resolved then Survivor may run out of islands on which to film someday. Plus, they produce marijuana and are a shipment point for heroin. Remember Nancy Reagan: Just say no to drugs.

Once we take over Madagascar, gettting the rest of the world to bow to our wishes will be a piece of cake. I've played the game of Risk, as I'm sure you have, too. (If not, you should check it out sometime, it really is a lot of fun). If you can only have one country on the board Madagascar is, without a doubt, the one country to have. It has little exposure to other countries, so is easy to prevent attack from others, yet is central enough that you can quickly get to those hotspots in the middle east. You don't start in the middle east, because you can get attacked from all sides and will quickly dwindile down to nothing. Start in Madagascar and move your way through Africa with a strong front line and you are sure to win the game.

Finally, it will be easy to get the young kids on board, and we'll all sing a song of support to you as you go about this important task:

Marc Ravalomanana (ba dee bedebe)
Marc Ravalomanana (ba debe dee)
Marc Ravalomanana (ba dee bedebe badebe badebe dee dee de-de de-de-de) (repeats)
Marc Ravalomanana namwomp mwomp ma mo mo mana mo Marc Ravalomanana(ba dee bedebe)
Marc Ravalomanana (ba debe dee)
Marc Ravalomanana(ba dee bedebe bedebe badebe debe de-de de-de-de) (long pause)
...Marc Ravalomanana?

(Thanks to this site for help with the lyrics)

I'm expecting a phone call from Karl Rove shortly to invite me to be a member of the cabinet.

Signed,

A concerned citizen.

Ring of Fire

This afternoon I felt an anticipation I haven't felt for over 24 years.

Spring of 1980 I was an 8 year old third grader in suburban Portland, Oregon. Mt. St. Helens was up to something, and no one really knew what, but we all knew that as the closest city to the volcano we were in the line of fire. Every murmur the volcano made was cause for concern. No one knew what to expect, what would happen.

By the time May 18 rolled around the eruption was not a surprise, but it was amazing. I was able to kneel on a bench underneath my bedroom window and watch the plume rise from the mountain. There was a silence over the city that day, and words cannot describe the sight. Thankfully, for us, the blast was directed to the Northeast. That meant Yakima got the brunt of the explosion. The television shots showed a city in blackness in the middle of the day.

Portland became a study in grey, as everything was covered with a layer of volcanic ash. Volcanic ash is like a very gritty wet sand. The experts warned to be very careful cleaning it, as the grit could easily cause damage to cars and like items. My father disregarded the message, and scraped a message into the hood of the family station wagon: "Mt. St. Helens 5/18/80" for a photo opportunity. He need not have taken the photograph, because the message was etched into the paint until we sold the car several years later. The car also never ran well after the event.

In the immediate aftermath of the explosion we had cans upon cans of ash that we had cleaned up from our modest suburban yard. You know how difficult it is to clean the sand off yourself after a long day at the beach: multiply that by your backyard. Over 10 years later we would still stumble across ash stuck in the deep brances of bushes and trees.

You cannot comprehend the impact of this event if you have not lived through it for yourself. There were two things that cemented this in my mind over the years. First, relatives from the midwest were visting and saw a small vial of ash my parents had kept on the mantle as a souvenir of the event. They were in awe, and wanted some ash of there very own. We gladly gave them some of the surplus. Ash is not to be coveted, it is to be feared.

Second, I was playing Pictionary with friends my freshman year of college. We were in Texas and my partner was from Galveston, may never have been outside the state. I had to get him to guess Mt. St. Helens. "Piece of Cake!" I thought. I drew a volcano. I got him to say "volcano." I gave him the universal symbol for "continue with that train of thought." Everyone I had ever known prior to this fact would have gone immediately to Mt. St. Helens. He didn't. I drew a map of the United States. I got him to identify the Pacific Northwest and the state of Washington. I indicated the volcano was in the state of Washington. He still didn't get it. He was an intelligent guy. Earned acceptance into an elite liberal arts college. He was NEVER going to say Mt. St. Helens. This was a major moment in my young life, and he would never have named the mountain if his life depended on it.

Today Mt. St. Helens had a small eruption of steam and ash. It happened while I was on my lunch break, and I immediately called my parents (who still live in suburban Portland) to see if it was large enough they could see it. They could not. But is this just the prologue of what's to come? I heard a news snippet on TV earlier tonight to suggest that there may be more to come.

A volcano, much like a hurricane, tornado or earthquake, really shows you the power that mother nature has over us. It lets you know its coming, but only gives you slight clues. At the end the size, timing, and direction of the blast are completely out of your control. I hope this time the mountain is just teasing, and doesn't choose to unleas its wrath upon us.

Be Careful What You Wish For

Last week the phones wouldn't stop ringing. Today they won't start.

I was the first one in the office this morning, and when I tried to make an outbound got a busy signal and a message that said "No Free Line". Thank goodness I had my cell phone on me and could call my boss. I can't receive a call. I can't make a call. I can't send a fax. I can receive faxes and send/receive e-mails, but I can't do much with them once I have them, since I have no way of distributing them to the outside world.

You do not realize how much technology opens up your world until you are cut off from it.

Quote of the Night

"You don't go on Survivor to explore your feminine side"
-- me to Sweetie during last night's female tribal council on Survivor

What, you were expecting something from the debates?